sunshine :<)

WOW AFTER READING A FRIENDS BLOG, IT KINDA MAKES ME SAD THAT WE DIDNT OPEN UP EARLIER IN LIFE. EVEN THOUGH WE WERE FROM MUCH DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS AND UP BRINGINGS WE HAD AND STILL HAVE ALOT IN COMMON WITH OUR EMOTIONS AND CHILDHOOD. IT ACTUALLY MAKES ME FEEL SO MUCH BETTER THAT I AM NOT ALONE IN WHAT I FEEL. IS IT WRONG OT NOT, I REALLY DONT KNOW. TO ME I DONT THINK SO.
MY MOMS PARENTS WERE ALWAYS FULL OF DECIEPT AND LIES SO AT AN EARLY AGE I LEARNED TURN AND KEEP MY FEELING HIDDEN SO I WOULDNT GET HURT FROM ALL THE LIES, DECIEPT, AND MENTAL ABUSE. WHEN MY MOM LOST HER MOM IN 1997 I HURT FOR MY MOM BUT I WASNT A BIT HURT OF HER PASSING PERSONALY BECAUSE OF MY CHILDHOOD, IN THE UPSIDE OF IT ALL I GOT TO SEE FAMILY I HAD NOT SEEN IN YEARS. MY MOMS MOM MAKES CHARLES MANSON MORE PURE THAN GOD TO ME. I REAALLY CANT THINK OF A GOOD MEMORY OF HER OTHER THAN GETTING TO GO TO TENNESSEE AND VIRGINIA BEACH WITH HER TO SEE MY COUSINS.
NOW MY GRANDPARENTS ON MY DADS SIDE WERE THE MOST IMPRESSIVE MODEL GRANDPARENTS ANYONE WOULD EVER WANT. MY GRANDPA DIED IN 1977 AND GRANDMA DIED IN 1995 I THINK OR 1996?BUT THE MEMORIES I HAVE WITH THEM ARE NOTHING BUT GOOD. I AM STILL SOMEWHAT DEVESTATED AT THEIR PASSING STILL TODAY.
SITTING HERE THINKING ABOUT MY GRANDMA SCARBERRY I CAN STILL SEE HER SILVER HAIR AND HER EVER SO WARMING SMILE AND HEAR HER SAYING TO EVERYONE WHO LEFT HER HOUSE..."HEY YOU AINT TO OLD TO GIVE ME A KISS", I ALWAYS FELT AND ASTILL FEEL THE LOVE SHE HAD FOR EVERYONE IN HER FAMILY. SHE WAS TRUELY THE STRONGEST PERSON I THINK I WILL EVER KNOW. SHE BEAT MULTIPLE HEART ATTACKS, BREAST CANCER, LIVER CANCER HEART BYPASS SURGERY, AND OTHER ILLNESSES AND WORKED HER HUGE GARDEN TILL THE DAY SHE DIED WHEN SHE WAS ALMOST 90 YEARS OLD.
AFTER HER DEATH THE SCARBERRY FAMILY SOMEWHAT FELL APART AND JUST NO ONE HARDLY GETS ALONG ANYMORE, BECAUSE OF BACKSTABBING AND I DONE THIS FOR MOMMY AND YOU SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS FOR MOMMY...BLAH BLAH BLAH
MY DAD WAS ONE OF 14 KIDS AND ALL OF THEM HAVE 3 OR 4 KIDS AND SOME EVEN MORE AND THEN THE GRANDKIDS HAVE KIDS PROBABLY OVER 300 PEOPLE IN SOUTH CHARLESTON AREA IN MY FAMILY AND I ONLY TALK TO ABOUT 25 OF THEM.
I DONT LIKE THE DDRAMA IN THE FAMILY ON EITHER SIDE OF MY FAMILY SO AFTER MY FIRST DIVORCE IN 1995 I PRETTY MUCH MOVED OUT OF STATE AND LIVED MY OWN LIFE. THOUGH I HAVE MOVED BACK A TIME OR TWO IT DONT LAST LONG AND I HAVE TO MOVE AGAIN. I JUST DONT FEEL A CONECTION WITH THEM ANYMORE.
THANK YOU SUNSHINE FOR MAKING ME FEEL GOOD IN MY HEART AGAIN YOU TRULLY BRIGHTEN MY DAY AND I CHERISH THE FRIENDSHIP WE HAVE NOW
THANK YOU SO MUCH
FARON

its been awhile

ITS BEEN A WHILE SINCE I HAD TO VENT BUT DAM IT IS TIME AGAIN...LMAO....WELL OUT OF THE LAST 10 DAYS I HAVE SAW A DR 7 OF THEM. NOTHING TO SERIOUS JUST A BUNCHA MUMBO BS. I AM SICK OF DRS, SICK OF MEDICINE MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A ZOMBIE, AND JUST WANT MY ENERGY BACK. SINCE JAN 1ST I AM ON MY 10TH ROUND OF ANTIBIOTICS AND THEY ARE EATING MY STOMACH UP, THOUGHT THERE IS A BRITE SIDE I AM LOSING WEIGHT FROM NOT BEING ABLE TO KEEP FOOD DOWN. I HAVE LOST 15 POUNDS IN LAST 4 WEEKS, THOUGH I AM SLEEPING 12 TO 16 HOURS A DAY AND I AM ALSO TIRED OF THE BED.
I AM SICK OF THIS DAM RAIN AND BEING COOPED UP IN THIS DAM HOUSE. I HATE WHERE I AM LIVING AND WANT TO MOVE SOUTH TO TENN, TX, OR ANYWHERE AROUND THE GULF OR THE CAROLINAS. I SICK OF THE MOUNTAINS, I NEED SAND AND WATER.
APRIL 29TH WILL BE A YEAR THAT I HAVENT BEEN ABLEN TO WORK. I CANT NOT STAND NOT WORKING, BUT I DO LOVE THE XTRA TIME WITH MY KIDS. I STILL NEED MY TIME FOR MY OWN PIECE OF MIND.
I NEED TO BE AROUND PEOPLE AND FRIENDS WHO I LIKE AND WANT TO BE AROUND. BESIDES MY FAMILY PEOPLE IN WV SUCK ROYAL ASS. THEY ARE ONLY FRIENDS WITH YOU TO GET SOMETHING FROM YOU, IF YOU DONT HAVE WHAT THEY WANT THEY ARE MOOCHING FROM SOMEONE ELSE.
I WANT TO LIVE BACK IN THE COUNTRY I CANT STAND THIS CITY LIFE MUCH LONGER, I LIKE TO LIVE SECLUDED , I MEAN DAM IF I WANT TO TAKE A PIZZ OFF THE FROM PORCH I WANT TO PIZZ OFF MY FRONT PORCH, I HAVE NEVER BEEN ONE TO BE ABLE LIVE LIVE WITH RULES. DAMMIT I NEED MY OWN SPACE TO DO AS I PLEASE. I WANT TO LIVE THE GRIZZLY ADAMS LIFE, I HATE NEIGHBORS.
I MISS MY AMISH FRIENDS IN WISCONSIN, I LOVE THERE SIMPLE WAY OF LIFE.
WOW AM I IN A PIZZED OFF MOOD OR WHAT>>>>HMMMMMM
ON THE LIGHTER SIDE I DO CHERISH THE FRIENDSHIPS THAT ARE BLOSSEMING FROM OLD FRIENDS FROM SCHOOL ON FACEBOOK. SOMEDAYS THEY ARE ALL THAT HELP ME THREW THESE SHITTY DAYS. THANK YOU YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE....I LOVE YA AS A FRIEND OR THE SISTER I NEVER HAD.....YA BETTER KEEP IN TOUCH DAMMIT.
WELL TYIME FOR MY MEDS AND ANOTHER NAP, I GUESS LIFE IS GOOPD AS LONG AS I WAKE UP ON THIS SIDE OF THE DIRT....LMAO
FARON